feels like another kick in the teeth

Well according to Alex I need to "grow up" and become "less immature" and I am also "dangerous" because I am a failure as a parent and carer because I dare to say no I won't be told what to do. then he has his , abusive, father to stay, and I have an email from him as well to say he doesn't feel I am fulfilling my parental and caring duties properly, because 1, I dared to have a relationship with someone, and 2, I take time out to be myself. this of course as greatly disturbed Ainsley and Kathryn. Kathryn doesn't understand what she wants she feels torn between wanting to live in a safe zone with no pressure , but also no support, which would mean her moving 200 miles away to stay at her dads, and living with me, where I am always there for her, except when I go out , very occasionally, but where I try to encourage her to go out and meet people, help around the house by doing small basic chores, and communicate with me and Ainsley. after lots of upset she has decided she is going to stay with me. then ainsley, upset over this, internalises everything. he is also worried about college restarting next week, college, where he is on a special needs course, but whom don't seem to recognise his special needs. Yes we had a letter, registration 10am on Wednesday 3rd, that means we get a 2 1/2 hour commuter packed bus ride leaving at 7.30 am, and same back, followed by same to meeting the following day to discuss how to handle his anxiety at a pre course meeting. for someone who doesn't like people you can not imaging how difficult, no impossible attending either one of these will be, and if we manage first then he will be to ill for second and we will be accused of not cooperating. I dread the thought of the journey let alone him. And doesn't want to see , or talk to, his father at all, which of course Alex, is delighting in calling us up on and ranting about our immaturity!. this means increased internalisation of all this anxiety equalling his soiling increasing, he is showering several times during the night, why during the night because as always when under stress his sleep pattern also goes belly up, so he is up all night, needing lots of reassurance and calming down, and sleeping in day. this of course leaves me exhausted. on top of the possibility of moving house, to be nearer support systems the kids and I desperately need, and having a garden, something I need so much for my mental health, has once again been dashed. last week I had positive meetings both with the social worker and a housing support worker, about getting welfare priority. they both seemed to think we could be moved by end of year at latest, house/garden/suitable area etc. before Ainsleys funding for a taxi runs out at end of October was even seen as a possibility, then they returned to their offices, spoke to who ever they speak to, and now I am being told, welfare priority is near on impossible to get, so register with exchange sites, DUH!! why didn't I think of that before, OH yes I did, been registered with them for years but NO ONE wants to move to Pill, no one with a 3 bed house in a more convenient location wants to exchange to a 3 bed flat in an inaccessible location.