relationships

well last few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster for me and the kids. I got involved with my best friend of 4 years. MISTAKE. but it was my first relationship for 10 years. it was beautiful whilst it lasted but has ended very badly. he couldn't cope with me developing a great relationship with his 17 year old daughter. I am really proud of my kids , they accepted relationship completely. in fact Ainsley, my PDA 17 year old, amazed me by pushing me to leave him with his sister at home for a weekend whilst I enjoyed myself! and, from the boy who refuses to do anything, I came home and tripped over him hovering the stairs! they haven't coped so well with my emotional crying since it finished but haven't reacted badly just walked away because they don't need to deal with it, let me wallow in self pity. several positives have come out of this period, I realise I can leave kids alone, they can support each other, not long term, or with any major tasks, eg, I had to have meals prepared etc, no dishwashing/clothes washing/ self washing was done whilst I was away, and no windows open, you can imagine the smell, but I feel I can leave them for a while. so a step in that direction is I have volunteered at local charity shop for two half days a week. I think a lot of letting go has to come from internally me as I am very protective of them! I have also come to realise how unhealthy their lives are where they isolate themselves in their rooms 24/7. I was told whilst I was away they only came down to kitchen didn't go in main room at all. so I have managed to convince Ainsley to try and return to college in September, we have a meeting this week. and I have applied for a support worker for Kathryn with the view to getting her into supported housing, she is not happy about this. for me I am about to start driving lessons. so a good few weeks, a while of heartbreak and now time to move on to pastures new.